1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and it certainly doesn’t take holidays off. Whether the sadness comes in waves or sits quietly in the background, it deserves space. If you feel joy, let it come. If you feel sorrow, let that come too. Emotions can coexist; one does not betray the other.

You are allowed to feel your grief without apology.

2. Adjust Traditions Without Guilt

Christmas traditions can feel especially painful when someone is missing from the table. It’s okay to change things. You might shift where you celebrate, simplify routines, or skip certain traditions entirely this year.

You might also create new rituals that honour your loved one—lighting a candle for them, sharing a favourite story, cooking a dish they loved, or placing something of theirs on the tree. Let traditions serve you, not the other way around.

3. Set Gentle Boundaries

It’s alright to decline invitations, step outside for a moment, or leave early when gatherings feel overwhelming. Communicate with people you trust:

• “I might need a little extra space this year.”
• “I’m not sure how I’ll feel that day, so can I decide last-minute?”
• “Thank you for understanding if I’m quieter than usual.”

Your wellbeing matters more than any expectation others may have for you.

4. Lean Into Support—Even in Small Ways

You don’t have to navigate the season alone. Reach out to someone who understands, whether that’s a friend, family member, support group, or therapist. Sometimes just saying, “Today is hard,” can lighten the load.

If talking feels too heavy, connection can be quiet: sitting beside someone, sharing a meal, or sending a simple message.

5. Create Meaningful Moments of Rest

Grief is exhausting. The holidays are exhausting. Together, they can feel overwhelming. Give your mind and body time to pause:

• Watch a comforting movie
• Take a walk
• Listen to music that soothes you
• Spend time with pets
• Sit in silence with a warm drink

Rest isn’t avoidance—it’s necessary caretaking.

6. Let Go of the Pressure to Be “Okay”

You might notice the world moving quickly into festive cheer, and it can feel jarring. Not everyone will understand what you’re carrying, and that can add another layer of pain. But you don’t need to perform happiness to make others comfortable.

Your grief is a reflection of love. You don’t need to hide it or rush it.

7. Remember That Love Doesn’t End Here

One of the hardest parts of grieving during the holidays is the sharp reminder of who isn’t here. Yet the reason it hurts so deeply is that the love remains. You carry that love forward, even through the ache. And in your own time and in your own way, you will find moments of connection, warmth, and meaning again.

Not because you’ve forgotten—but because you are learning to live with the love that continues.

If This Christmas Is Hard, Be Gentle With Yourself

Grief is a personal journey, and there’s no right way to move through the festive season. This year may look different. Next year may look different still. What matters most is caring for yourself with compassion—even in the smallest ways.

If all you can do is breathe through today, that is enough.

You are doing the best you can. And that is more than enough.